Name Your Addiction

+ JMJ +

What’s the most addictive substance on earth? Yeah you know. If not before, you know now because of the feature image.

I didn’t know how addictive sugar was until I fasted from it to overcome a habitual sin. I felt like I was dying. Yes. Sugar has withdrawal effects. It effected my clarity of thinking and how I felt physically…

But. My reason here is not to give a post on the crazy amount of people who are sugar addicts. I’m wanting to speak to the invisible addictions in our lives.

Like…

TV shows. Video/computer games. Smart phone. Social media.

There are more… but I’m choosing these, as I’ve been the victim.

TV Shows

spidermancartoon

When I was a kid, I had a friend invite me over to pray the rosary (Christine H. B.). I refused, because Spiderman was on then… It opened my eyes, because that wasn’t the first time I turned someone down due to the TV. (I was probably… 11/12) I realized that I was placing the importance of a cartoon over a friend–and of course the Lord.

Video/Computer Games

Sims_Social_LogoY’all remember when Sims came out? Yeah; I do. Oh boy! I played it so much it infiltrated reality. I went to a party and was like this is getting droll. They need music. They need more food. They need… It was like I saw the meters over everyone’s heads and the tips scrolling in front of me. When I left, I was like alright… I’d rather live in reality and be with people–real people; not simulations of people. I canned the game.

Smart Phone

Yeah… I get lost in my phone. So much so, I am checked out when it comes to my Liturgy of the Hours, even though I have to make my Mary Poppins bag (my purse) heavier.* Is it because I like being old school? I do, but that is not it. It’s because when I open my phone there’s a million other things to do on it. On top of that, it’ll push me to make sure I know there are a million other things to do on it…

What happened to putting the phone in your purse when you go out to eat with your friend? Wait. What? I need to take a picture of the food I’m eating and a selfie with my friend!

What did we do before cell phones? Uh, we survived. If you go out and forget your phone, I bet people are not going to automatically think you up and died… well with my response rate, I know some people think I die. I have read many, “Are you alive?” texts.

I took a video on my phone of a friend’s album release party… part of it I’m glad, but at the same time I missed the experience of “being” and listening. It was in May. I have watched the videos once. Yeah. It wasn’t worth it. I wasn’t focused. Plus, if I really want to see it again, I can pest them to give me access to their professional video sometime, which I think will knock my tremored-iPhone video out of the park. My pictures with His Own would have been extremely satisfactory negating the videos.

Social Media

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If we talk social media, there’s no argument that it is addictive. People have the whole compare and contrast issue. Me… It is a time drain. I mean y’all know all I really post is stuff about my homeboy Jesus and the marvelous models of how to live the Christian life, the saints. Sure, but the time I’ve wasted finding out what my name means in a non-existent language, what JTT look like now, what was the most wanted toy the year I was born…

Are those articles bad? No. But… Everything needs to be done in moderation. There is a lot of time that these consume my life.

Well, It’s Not Alcohol or Drugs…

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No; but we are all asked to keep everything in moderation.

Are you A2J?

I get asked this every time I see my friend, Rocky. Are YOU? It stands for “Addicted to Jesus”. I get asked, “Are you A2J? Every day? All the way?” Yeah. haha. I am. I don’t mind being a Jesus freak. People think I’m crazy, but I’m high on the Holy Ghost. My side effects of being addicted to Jesus are joy, kindness, compassion, smiles, hugs, encouragement, support, generosity…

Still, with every addiction there is withdrawal effects. Don’t withdrawal from Jesus. The symptoms are loneliness, despair, despondency, hopelessness, darkness, hurt, restlessness…

Be A2J. All the way. Every day.

+ Pax

Kristen Elizabeth Thérèse von Clef, OFS, A2J

*my purse weighs enough to need a seatbelt… (passenger seatbelt light goes off)

Inside Out

+ JMJ +

Although I haven’t seen the movie “Inside Out”, it is on my list to see. Having different emotions cartoon’ified is a pretty awesome idea. If it was executed the way I wanted, I’d get to see the different feelings and how to cope with them, but… this is a cartoon and that’s a little too deep. Cummon—there can’t be another Toy Story out there. 😉

Let’s be Honest…

I’m a dramatic person…sometimes. If you know me very well, then it could be all the time. My kind of drama doesn’t crown me the queen of it, though. Well… some may think it does. Anyways, this past week I wanted to take a course online to help me on my career path, BUT… sigh… it was too expensive and I would have had to gather the money the day I found out about it ($865 or potentially 5k). Nope not going to happen. It frustrated me beyond belief.

That evening, I got into a discussion with my roommate, Jessie. We began to have a discourse as to what I was going to do with my life. A few lines in, I discovered I have a “negative mantra” that I repeat over and over that seems to put me into a downward spiral. I say… “I don’t know.” I say it when I’m feeling bad/sad/generally upset and I want to talk about it, but don’t want to talk about it—don’t want to face my feelings or even see the positivity in a situation. This isn’t all the time. In fact, it’s so sparse that this was the first time Jessie witnessed it and we’ve roomed together for 8 months.

Three Little Words

Why do I say those words, “I don’t know”? I think it’s because I’m compacting all my emotions inside of me-I don’t won’t anyone to be pulling any of my switches in the control panel (“Inside Out”), but that doesn’t mean they don’t. I get sad and despondent—when it gets that bad. Jessie dragged me out of that state and “knocked” some sense in my head. (She made sure I wrote knocked, because it needed some hard hitting.)

insideOutDragging

While having that interventional conversation, she pointed out that this was merely a situation. She suggested that when I enter into that state of despondency, I should distract myself, because if it’s situational, the situation will change. (My cousin, Kathy, echoed that when we were Facebook messaging). I continued saying, “I don’t know,” during our session, but she began throwing things at me at each occurrence of those three little words escaping my mouth. Soon, I began to catch myself even before she launched a Taco Bell sauce packet at me. I bit my lip and laughed.

Fixin’ to

After talking to her, she made me realize I’m not alone with my negative mantra. Other people do it, too. Some people just say, “I can’t.” I say, “I don’t know.”

I’m taking Jessie’s words to heart, at least I’m going to try to do so. It will be something of which I need to remind myself. My life’s been kind of dreary these past eight months. Yet, Jessie’s advice is good and solid. It’s something I need to apply inside so those three little words don’t get outside.

Let me know!

Hey! Let me know what you think! Comment here or if you see this on Facebook, you can do it there. I want some input and if you have questions, ask! I’d be more than happy to answer them.

+ Pax + | KK