Tag: love

Spiritual Warfare

What is Chaos?

tosufferforsouls

+ JMJ +

Better question:

Who is chaos?

There is only one who performs and would like to maintain chaos. You know his name.

I’ve always looked at the Joker in the Batman series as a depiction of the devil. He doesn’t always have a distinct visible sign in his “plan” to destroy our lives. He performs chaos. His story changes depending on whom he is attacking. He makes it particular to each of us, as we are not all the same. There are certain things that would effect me vastly different than someone else. So, his “plan” is tailored for each of us-in our individual weaknesses. Below is a video…started at 44:28.

(This is a full length documentary: Too Young to Die – Heath Ledger)

Lost

We get lost in his chaos. He is the king of confusion.

Image result for angerRecently, I was in anger with my mother. Serious anger. I had just had an intensive spiritual happening. I felt like my mom was suppressing it and I started thinking it was the devil inside her attacking me.

My “sisters” dinner this year was something else. I was intense talking about the healings. My sisters pulled me aside at the end and they were like, “Kris, you don’t look like yourself.” “You do get angry, but you always have compassion in your eyes…you don’t have that sparkle right now.”

I racked my brain not knowing why after a healing I would be changed in a negative manner…

My eyes changed?

Later, I expressed my crazy love for someone. Once I did, my chest felt like it inflated–physical feeling. Truth is: hate cannot abide where love lives.

Then, I came to realize it was me that he entered. I seriously sent a text out that he was a “sneaky bastard”. I was so very surprised. I’ve never experienced that anger before…but it made sense that he would attack me. I reached out to someone, an atheist, for the first time ever. Why wouldn’t I be sent haywire?

Find Love (God) and Hold On

Cerulean Crayon

When I realized that, wow, I never thought that would/could happen. And my eyes? How do eyes change… (this is going to be an entire post, as my eyes changed multiple colors in the hospital–witnessed by over 15 people–patient and staff alike–grey/blue, periwinkle, and the most prominent cerulean blue–my favorite color since I was little–I love that crayon.) (The first recorded use of cerulean as a colour name in English was in 1590. The word is derived from the Latin word caeruleus, “dark blue, blue, or blue-green”, which in turn probably derives from caerulum, diminutive of caelum, “heaven, sky”. — wikipedia)

Never let go of that Man! How He loves!

What can we do to stop Satan?

JImage result for just say noust say, “No.” and confirm it with a smile. He cannot read our minds, but he can see how we react once he’s instilled in us his thoughts. He can see our facial expressions and he can see our actions that take place following the intrusion. I’ve said no over the past couple weeks and I have not had any evil intrusive thoughts staying in my mind. Sorry, Satan. You’ve worn out your welcome.

Good Bye and Hello…

Jesus has been welcomed in every moment of my day. If you talk to people who know me very well, I talk to myself. A lot–typically trying to find out better ways I could have had conversions with people in my life. I’ve been putting that to an end and when I’m “alone” talking, it is specifically worded to the only ones who can actually do anything…

Jesus, the Saints and AngelsImage result for red robe jesus

I’ve given up my empty breathes and given breathes full with words of love and prayer for others and just plain ole conversations with my Bro, Jesus.

Seriously!

What is going through y’all’s heads throughout the day? If you have thoughts tormenting you, say, “NO!” Then replace the words of chaos into words that you can give God, your family, your friends, your neighbors and your enemies! Say what?! I think that’s how you repay the devil for those unclean thoughts. Pray for safety against him for yourself, but push it further and rebuke him from everyone you know.

Heath Ledger

Whenever I see him, my heart hurts. Heath was a method actor. He lived the chaos of the Joker. Crazy lived.

Image result for oscar“Mr. Heath Ledger died as the result of acute intoxication by the combined effects of oxycodone, hydrocodone, diazepam, temazepam, alprazolam, anddoxylamine,” the office said in a short statement. “We have concluded that the manner of death is accident, resulting from the abuse of prescription medications.”

Um. That’s not an accident.

Playing Satan day in and day out, no guessing, will screw up the mind.

Heath Ledger became manic while in this role.

What we do for our golden idols…  Wait the 30secs for the video…

Go to hell, Satan.

We need to take over our thoughts. Don’t let him live in our minds.

St. Michael Defeats Satan

St. Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the Devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,
and do thou,
O Prince of the heavenly hosts,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan,
and all the evil spirits,
who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

+ Pax

Kristen

If you want to see a full video of “Too Young to Die – Health Ledger”, see the documentary below.

Providence

One Man Can Change the World

tosufferforsouls

+ JMJ +

Yeah; we all look at the title and go, “Yeah. Yeah. We know.” But do we really?

The gentleman circled above is my Godfather. If not for him, I would guarantee none of you reading this would know me.* Why? Because, 27 years ago “Uncle” Bob approached my dad asking if he would be interested in opening a medical practice here in the Greater Knoxville Area.

Come on! Bug your eyes out.

Image result for eyes bugging out gif

I looked through my photos on facebook… I would have known no one in the pictures.* My younger siblings would have never been placed in my family. I would have never met my big “sis” Lenore. I would have never had my “Godsisters”. I just said to myself scrolling through my pictures, “This is crazy.” None of these pictures would have been taken…

There would have been no Saint John Nuemann hangouts with our Lord. Sure I may have found a chapel somewhere else… but would I?

I most likely would not have been a Franciscan… maybe? I became one, because of my best friend in kindergarten’s grandmother…

No Nashville friends…

Image result for rotary phone

This is crazy, right?

One man’s request set a path for my entire life.

See! Every decision you make has a purpose! Every single one. Look at what wouldn’t have happened if he didn’t pick up the phone and ask.

Was it Uncle Bob? No; I know he wouldn’t take the credit for it either.

God used him in a cray cray way.

So, audience out there.

Image result for world

Look at this. You can help God change the world. Just you. Yeah; you in your little meekness.

Image result for handshakeIt was just a business transaction… nope. It was allowing God to change the world through Uncle Bob.

Just a job, right? Job is just something you work at. I moved to Nashville for a job; yes. However, when I made that decision to go, I knew it wasn’t just for a job. I told people that back in 2014 (a year before I actually moved…God’s timing.). I was going to be interacting with people and they’d be interacting with me. There would be a difference in the new city that wouldn’t be confined within a high-rise downtown office building.

11393203_10153089293447779_7416879443307649470_n.jpg

Image result for butterflyIt goes back to the butterfly effect…God’s effect. One choice we make can do what that one request from my Godfather did.

Are we seeing the magnitude of this?

The Holy Spirit! Wow.

I’m so grateful for the gift of you. Yes; you. You reading this. Even if you are just a random reader, I’m grateful that I’m here in front of my computer in Knoxville, TN typing to you the experiences I’ve had that have placed this words on the screen that you may read. That’s a mouth full. 🙂

Seriously, people.

Every minute in every hour of every day–every person that you meet–has a purpose.

EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.

Make those minutes/hours/days/encounters count!

Image result for rolodexThat is a big ripple in the water that is never going to calm.

Now, my Godfather most likely was not just scrolling through his Rolodex trying to go iniminiminimo… My Godfather is a very prayerful man.

So, my closing remarks:

With great power comes great responsibility. HA. (I used to be addicted to that cartoon…no that is not said lightly. I may do a post on addictions.)

But, seriously. That was a question that changed time from 1990 to eternity. I’d say it was for the positive. You see how that all resulted? It was big… yet, not everything we do has good consequences.

So, we must be prayerful. VERY. God will lead you. Follow His commandments. Stay close to His mother. She wants nothing more than for you to have love for Him.

Wow.

One meeting…

…where my Godfather’s daughters were stealing my barbie dolls and I, a very crabby 5yo, didn’t like them, Rebecca and Rachael, at all. I was very disgruntled. I remember peeking around the door frame from the other room sneering at them. Never did I know those beautiful souls would be two of the closest people in my life.

Everything guys. Everything. Everything.

“Life is choices” as Annie always said. Let’s make good ones.

If you hear God calling!! Answer!

Image result for rotary phone gif

I pray the Lord blesses you and that this holiday season brings you and your family close together.

+ Pax

Kris

*aside from people I’m related to.

Uncategorized

To Be is to Love

tosufferforsouls

+ JMJ +

Tomorrow is the 15th anniversary of my maternal grandmother’s death. What always comes to mind around this time of year are the memories of her life, how I was included and how I was impacted. Another thing that comes to mind every year, are the days leading up to her passing.

Anyone can understand that the loss of a loved one is the hardest part of life—even if they haven’t lost someone themselves. However, no one, whether they have or not, can ever quite find the words to console those that are mourning.

Friend Amongst Strangers

As a 9th grade homeschool student, I went to a weekly Christian co-op to take a Spanish class. This took place the semester before my grandmother’s passing and was the first that I attended. There were a lot of new faces and being a new kid in any school is a little nerve-racking. However, one of the new faces was a girl named, Paula. She had a very peaceful aura and was the first to reach out to me. We saw each other weekly from September to mid-December as we learned our newly discovered language. Towards the end of the semester we began to frequently talk to each other on the phone—for hours. 😛

At the beginning of the new year, my grandmother’s health began to fail. During this time, I was abandoned by my best friend due to the fact they found it too hard to be around someone in that state in life. This was very hard, as I’m sure you can imagine. My mother hurt for me not having someone there to support me.

The conversations with Paula began to become more frequent as I had no one else to whom I could turn. As my grandmother’s health continued to grow worse and my family knew she was close to the end, Paula discerned that she could be a great deal of help to me. She asked her mother if she could come stay with me. And it was then that I discovered the power of “being”.

The Art of a “Being” Human

I’m going to jump ahead a little bit. I’m not exactly sure the day, month, year, but my mom discovered this thing called “Affirmation Therapy.” “…it is a way of “being” with a person as opposed to “doing” something to or for her. Affirmation therapy can be formally described as a way of being affectively present to another human person in a therapeutic relationship in which the therapist reveals to the client his or her intrinsic goodness and worth. Affirmation is a profound way of being with someone that should not be mistaken for a set of simplistic techniques such as giving a pat on the back or a superficial compliment.” When we learned this and we reveled in the gloriousness of it, we looked back on the person who did it best—even though they didn’t know they were doing it.

They were Paula.

tobeittolove_paula

When my grandmother lay dying in her bed, I sat on the couch beside her. I sat with Paula. She didn’t do anything. She didn’t talk to me. Most people would look at this as say, “Well, yeah. Of course she didn’t have anything to say, she was a 16 year old. What kind of sage advice would she have?” As I said before, most people don’t know what to say—no matter what their age is. But my point here is: she didn’t have to. She didn’t have to say a word. And she was more than comfortable with not having that ability. She had something greater to give. Presence. She was “being” with me. She was letting me feel my emotions. She wasn’t trying to tell me words to “fix” me. It’s almost unexplainable. I just leaned on her and cried.  We did sing worship music and prayed with my grandmother. But for the most part, I just sat there. She just sat there. It was enough.

To Be or Not To Be

This world is going going going. No one sits with people anymore without “doing”. It’s so hard to “be” in this constant state of motion. To live the affirmed life “means learning to “be present to everything in creation” and learning how to live in a more quiet and unhurried manner.” Paula showed me, as part of God’s creation, that I was worth “being” present with. She was quiet. She was unhurried. She was content with not having words to speak. She was exactly what I needed.

We all have trials in our lives with which we need people there to support us. Some of those trials cannot be consoled with words. This power. This power of “being”. Of being allowed to feel those emotions that come on so strongly. Of being able to not be shut down for feeling sad. Of being able to be present with someone without them feeling as if they need to “fix” you. Harness it, my friends. Wield this power. Those you love will be forever grateful you did.

+ Pax + | KK